‘The calendar tells me summer is here. Shut The Front Door! It’s July 16, and I wore gloves when I dared to venture out last week. Despite the fact that Mother Nature obviously has her period, I’d like to devote this blog to a celebration of lyrical fluff. In the gleeful, desperately hopeful anticipation of bikinis and Breezers, BBQs and bonfires, I’d like to show how absolutely necessary lyrical fluff is. Because sometimes we don’t want an 8-course dinner, where every single ingredient is artfully weighed, measured, arranged and considered. Sometimes we just want a huge Patatje Oorlog, because nothing else hits the spot. And as one who loses sleep over the clever creation of lyrics, who aches over narrative style versus immediate impact, who pines for visual imagery and stellar storylines, I also happen to be the first in line at the Febo at 3.30 in the morning. Long live grease, salt, mayonnaise!
This is an all time favorite. Yeah, it’s dirty, but all the dirt is so cleverly arranged. Let’s see what happens when we scratch the surface:
Bloodhound Gang – Uhn Tiss Uhn Tiss Uhn Tiss
Dog will hunt‘Dog will hunt’ – This is probably from The Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2, where the character Chop Top said ‘Dog will hunt!’ (as well as the other classic – ‘Lick my plate, you dogdick!’).
I'm the front end loader
Travoltin' over so
Try my slam on for size
A front end loader looks like this. If we think about it long and hard enough, we can imagine this physically, now can’t we? Bob de Bouwer, ‘Yes we can!’
‘Travolitin’ over’ – love this! It’s when you walk like this. They could have said ‘struttin’ over’, or something like that, but ‘Travoltin’ over’ sounds so amazing (say it slooowly) and the visual imagery is so powerful, if you know what they are referring to.
‘So try my slam on for size’ – Do I really need to explain?
‘Drive stick with that kung-fu grip’ – You can drive either stick or automatic. It’s pretty clear, automotively speaking, where they’re at, and, um, I guess it’s all in the wrist.
‘Let the banana split and watch it go right to your thighs’ – This has nothing to do with the Frans Bauer TV Show. Just so you know.
Cop a feel Copperfield styleThis is brilliant – to ‘cop a feel’ is to get under someone’s bra. And Copperfield refers to David Copperfield, the illusionist – who makes things disappear. Like going all ‘abracadabra’ on that bra. I love how the word ‘bra’ is in that word. And if you can ‘pull something off’ then it means that you can get away with it. Or remove something, literally. Both work so well here. Just listen to the sound – ‘Cop a feel, Copperfield… Abracadabra that bra’ – love how this works on the ear. The visual imagery ain’t too bad either ;)
Abracadabra that bra
Do you think I can pull it off?
Wanna bang around?I think the first line speaks for itself, and if you ‘jot something down’ then you write it down very quickly – and mostly it’s things that you write down on your to-do list. I love their idea of putting people on it, as opposed to things you have to do (hey! I foresee lots of bad pick up lines appearing in random Dutch bars after this column appears). And ‘to put out’ is when a girl agrees to have sex. So, if you put out a fire, that’s your way of saving nature, but if you put out like a fire I guess that’s being natural in a completely different way. I suspect, that if they could fit it in musically, the next line would involve ‘hoses’. Just sayin’.
Just jot me down on your to-do list
Under "put out like a fire" 'cause
I got somethin' and it goes thumpin' like thisI can guess by now what he’s got. And why it’s thumping. And no, I had no idea wat ‘uhn tiss’ means. Until Urban Dictionary told me (you can thank me later):
All you need is
My uhn tiss uhn tiss uhn tiss
I got somethin' and it goes thumpin' like this
All you need is
My uhn tiss uhn tiss uhn tiss
Uhn tiss uhn tiss uhn tiss baby
It’s an interpretation of the beat in "cool" techno/rave/hip hop songs. Bloodhound Gang's song "Uhn Tiss Uhn Tiss Uhn Tiss" is named after this sound effect; but when sung it sounds more like "'n-tss". It also refers to the noise of people mating.Rinse and repeat.
Edible strangeI honestly don’t know exactly what ‘edible strange’ refers to here – it’s not a common expression in English, but I can imagine what they mean here. And if someone is ‘tick-tockin’ their pants, it sound to me like their chastity belt is armed and dangerous. Like there’s a bomb in there. Ooh!
How do I het
In your pants when
You're tick tockin' them
Serious Levi'sIf you say ‘Serious Levi’s’ – it sounds like ‘seriously vice’ doesn’t it? And do you know what a vice is? It’s a weakness, a bad habit, something you shouldn’t do. I love how they use a clever jeans reference just after talking about getting into someone’s pants. And if you’re ‘here to fill an opening’ – that’s usually used for the want ads, for people looking for a new job. However, something tells me that the Bloodhound Gang is gainfully employed, as far as that is concerned...
So tight can't be classified
That's why I'm here to fill that opening
Make a seasoned passOk – a season pass allows you to ski for the season. And if something is ‘seasoned’, then it’s usually spicy or spiced up in some way. And if you ‘make a pass’ at someone, you try to seduce them. So if you’re making a ‘seasoned pass’ at someone, then you’re making spicy moves on them. Like! And I just said a season pass is good for skiing. Look at the next line – mount that ass – can you visualize 2 smallish mountains? I can! And please don’t make me explain what ‘mounting’ someone means. I have my limits. Bob Hope was a famous comedian many years ago, and see how they worked in ‘one night stand’ into ‘stand a chance’ in this line? Nice one.
To mount that ass and
Bob Hope that I might one night stand a chance
Let's go Feng Shui the fuck aroundIf they Feng Shui – they are arranging things in a particular way. And his ‘digs’ refers to his crib. But it also sounds like ‘dick’s’ – and if it’s like a superball – it’s bouncing up and down a LOT. Might even glow in the dark. And if you want it sunny side up, this can refer to how you like your eggs. Or not. ;)
My digs like a superball
Bring that sunny side up
On that note, I’d like to wish you all a super summer, whether you experience the highs and lows of mounting (post-Travolta-ing) and front-end loading, or just slapping the salami, spanking the monkey, or choking the chicken. And, of course, lyrics that will make me gasp. For plenty of reasons.’